Weekly Series — Developing Young Thinkers
I felt my anxiety rise as we were called into the meeting. We were sitting at the end of the table, surrounded by the professionals bracing ourselves for the report to follow.
Much of the rest of the meeting was a blur for me. I do however remember the words- “a need for Special Education services”.
Elsie (my wife) was already asking questions to get more information. I had shut down and stopped hearing anything else at this point. The group was recommending something called the I.E.P. — Individualized Education Plan for our son.
Upon hearing the word “Special”, I immediately took it to mean that my son was now labeled as being special. If he had a disability it meant that there was something wrong with him. It meant that he was broken in some way. It meant that he was not normal like the other kids.
That was my limited perspective based upon my own limited experience. Maybe deep down, I took it all personally, knowing that I too had struggles in school.
When we got back to the house, Elsie began to explain that “special” education means “specialized” education.
It was not that our son was “special”. In fact he is just as normal (whatever that means) as everyone else. He is not broken and there is nothing wrong with him. She explained that he learns differently and in today’s world that is a good thing. She went on to say that he has different strengths and if he gets the support he needs now, he will grow up to have confidence in those abilities.
It took a while but I eventually understood. It wasn’t my son that needed to change. It was me that needed to adjust my own limiting beliefs. I was the one with the problem, not him.
The conversation made sense and I began to shift my perspective.
He would be receiving the specialized training that would help him grow into the strong individual he was meant to be. I began to see our son more like being in the special forces. Images of the green berets or the navy seals came to mind. I felt a sense of pride that he had unique abilities and that he did not fit into that traditional definition of “normal”.
In the words of my wife — the sooner we embrace ambiguity, the faster we can move forward.
That was over 25 years ago, and thankfully our son did get all that specialized training. It set the foundation for him to achieve an undergraduate degree in Literature and a Masters in Education. Now a writer, he is finishing his first novel to be published in the fall.
He turned into a confident life long learner because he got the services and support he needed at a young age.
Growing out of my own limiting beliefs allowed me to eventually become one of those Special Education Teachers. Now, I get to help unique learners develop their own specialized skills.
We all get to create our own normal embracing our own special abilities. To start the process, we might think about what our own “limiting” beliefs are.
I hope this was helpful. All your comments and input are greatly appreciated. Don’t forget to follow us on Medium and join our newsletter at daVinci Publishing
